Cool I'm a kid and I like this site it has accurate stuff going on nice work I'm surprised there aren't more pple reading this.
| how to contact goth people |
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| Written by i j |
| Tuesday, 29 June 2010 14:49 |
Today I’m going to write my first gothic culture article not aimed to Goth people but to all that people that “somehow” moved by curiosity or by any other reason try to make contact with gothic people
How to contact Goth people without messing it up.
I suppose (and really hope) that people with curiosity about gothic culture sometimes enters this kind of Web sites to take a look over gothic culture and try to understand it better, nothing wrong on that.
I also suppose that there must be people that has interest in talking with Goth people, understanding this community better in the process, maybe with time join the gothic movement, nothing wrong on that either.
The problem is that in my experience, generally people don’t follow a good strategy for doing it, so, in an attempt (I’m not sure if vain or not) for enhancing relations between all of them and the Goth community, here is a small article about who to establish some kind of relation with the Goth community.
In deed this is an article for adults, if you are young, there are probably better approaches than this one, anyway: Here it comes a guide for worried fathers.
I’m sure that as non-goth, you must have seen people of pale aspect wearing exotic clothes of dark colors, maybe even you have a child that prefers to dress in monochromatic black instead of other colors or that might have bought black eyeliner or a black lipstick.
As you are a smart guy, I’m sure that you have saw in TV that all that usually respond to the gothic movement, and since TV is as TV is, you are worried about all that Goth people, believing seriously that they are vampires, that are considering suicide as a real option, that form part of a satanic group or even worst… that your poor boy is having doubt about his sexual condition…
You don’t have anything to worry about, Goth movement has been here for more time than some of us can remember and has nothing to do with being a vampire, committing suicide (If so, there shouldn’t be too many Goth people right?) or being a Satanist, and even this might be even harder to accept, using lipsticks or eyeliners won’t affect in anyway the sexual tendencies of your little child (I myself use them and I have a happy, non suicidal, non Satanist and non vampire life with my Girl friend).
As everything in this life, that doesn’t mean that there aren’t any Goth that could have some kind of problem that lead him to have those thoughts (except the sexual option that is not a problem in any case) but that has nothing to do with being Goth.
The most clear example of this situation is the football team fans, we all know that there are certain fans that are able to kill (literally) for their teams and it has happened in the past, that doesn’t mean that all football fans are assassins, doesn’t it? Let’s follow the same concept with goth people.
From all this we can deduct that the correct way for approaching a gother and asking him for directions, talk about the weather or asking for the gothic movement shouldn’t differ much from doing exactly the same with any other non-Goth people, in deed just showing a little bit of education should do the trick.
Yes, in deed it’s as easy as that: a little “good afternoon, do you have a moment?” could be perfect, from there you are free to ask what you want.
I’m going to give you only one advice, try to avoid jokes, it’s not that Goth people don’t have sense of humor (which we do, as anyone else) it’s that probably, any joke that you could improvise we have heard it hundred of times, and it has good chances of sounding derogative.
Avoid sentences like: “Hey!, Halloween is over already”, “it isn’t too sunny for dressing in black?”, “So what’s with the outfit?”, and try to avoid any reference to costume, costume usually refers to someone that tries to be something different to what they really are and are usually clothes of low quality designed for parties and not for actually wear them.
No, really, a polite and casual approach has much better chances of succeeding than any other thing, it will also create a good base for further communication.
Finally let’s suppose that you want to do that final steep and see one of those pubs where Goth people spent some of theirs weekend nights.
If you are an adult worried for what your child is doing, I think that you really should check those places (for knowing where is your younger going and seeing that in the end is nothing too strange… DISCLAIMER: If you do… make sure you go there when your child isn’t!! It’s ok to check where is your child going but if you do when he/she is there you could create a conflict of unpredictable consequences).
The first thing that you should do is to extend your vision slightly farther and not compare gothic movement with your dinning room but with other common younger’s divertissement: take a look to the drinking areas, check “normal” discos (like places where they dance what it’s called “regeton” nowadays) and take a look to other party areas, then you can get into the Goth pubs for comparison.
I have no idea how you should dress in other places, but if you don’t want to call too much attention over yourself in the gothic pub, the best you can do is wear a black pants and black shirt, you must understand that here you are the stranger and therefore is normal that people stares at you that’s going to be a good experience for you since you are going to feel how Goth people feel when they go… basically everywhere.
Even then, as when Goth people enters all places, the most probable reaction is only curious looks and maybe some jokes, but anyway, you’ll do well in avoiding drunk people, it’s not that Goth drunk people is more dangerous than non-Goth drunk people, it’s only that drunk people is unpredictable and in a place where you are the stranger you want to avoid unpredictable people.
I want you to notice something when you leave that pub, if all goes as expected you will feel relieved when you get to people like you again, soon all the stress of walking around people that isn’t like you will go away and you will feel much better when you are surrounded by people “like you” again, well that’s exactly the same relieve that Goth people feel when entering this pub, and it’s exactly the kind of stress that Goth people feels everywhere else (until they got used to it).
Another good advice while you are in contact with Goth people is… Try to avoid toughing their belongings or themselves, you will see tons of stuff that will call your attention, really well made clothes made of really strange materials, bags with really curious forms or undefined objects that finally are clothes, hats or some short of bags.
Whichever is your motivation, try to avoid touching all that stuff without asking permission to the owner, notice that this only answers to basic education rules, but I have seen it lot of times and it tends to create misunderstood that are hard to solve.
What I thought was going to be a short article ended being a really long one, so I’m going to leave it at this time and maybe I extend it other day or leave it here so anyone can update it with their own comments.
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| Last Updated on Tuesday, 29 June 2010 14:53 |